


the freedom of stars

by auroracode



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Gen, fanon typical jonny angst, jonny is a somewhat biased narrator when it comes to carmilla, mentions of unconsentual surgery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26742949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auroracode/pseuds/auroracode
Summary: As a child Jonny had loved looking up at the stars, there had seemed to be a freedom among them that he so dearly longed for in his own life.
Relationships: Dr Carmilla & Jonny d'Ville, Jonny d'Ville & The Mechanisms
Kudos: 16





	the freedom of stars

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetaed cause I've yet to drag any of my friends into this fandom, so if you see any issues let me know

As a child Jonny had loved looking up at the stars, there had seemed to be a freedom among them that he so dearly longed for in his own life. His father’s drunkenness and gambling addiction had forced him to take up a large deal of responsibility at a young age and it had weighed him down, crushing many of his childhood dreams; those dreams were only further crushed once he’d started working for One-Eyed Jack. 

He’d been good at killing, had picked it up quickly, but he hadn’t liked it; not back then. He wondered sometimes when that had changed, how had he gone from shaking hands and a sick feeling in his stomach to smiling with glee when he murdered someone? He supposed he just hadn’t been broken enough to enjoy it before. 

Back then he used to stare up at the constellations and dream of what might be out there, he’d think about how the stars kept shining on freely without anyone’s input and tell himself that one day he’d be like that to. That one day he wouldn’t have to obey anyone and would only do what he himself wanted. 

When he’d met Carmilla it had seemed like a dream come true, she’d offered a hand to pull him from the wreckage of his life and taken him off to see the stars he’d watched for so long. It had been everything he’d dreamed of and more, he’d seen so many places and done so many things, it had been a freedom he’d never experienced before.

Back then he’d thought of her as kind, she’d given him a home and called him her child; taught him all sorts of things that he’d never learned and never would have if he’d stayed on his home planet. He’d loved her more than he ever had his father, and while they’d certainly gotten into their fair share of illegal situations, he’d foolishly thought her a better person than Billy Vangelis had ever been.

And then he’d died and everything had changed. 

Jonny wasn’t really sure why they’d been attacked, and in the aftermath of it he’d been far more focused on other things to question Carmilla; all he knew was that one moment he’d been talking to her and the next thing he knew there was a loud noise and a sudden pain in his chest. Whether or not he’d imagined the horrified look on Carmilla’s face as he fell unconscious was something he’d never been sure of. 

When he’d woken up it had been strapped to an operating table in horrible pain, a blurry figure hovering over him and speaking softly, and he struggled to open his mouth and ask what was going on; his whole body had felt like lead and no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t seem to move. He remembered a hand gently combing through his hair, and something being said, before the darkness took him again.

The next time he’d awoken he was no longer human and Carmilla was proudly talking about how she’d made him immortal and he was her masterpiece. She’d told him he was lucky, that he’d not only survived but had obtained something that so many people sought after; she’d seemed so happy. He had never asked for it though, and with each pump of his new metal heart pain spread through his body, as if his very blood was acid in his veins. 

Carmilla had changed after that, they’d still traveled around plenty, but there had been a cruelty in her that he’d never noticed before; or perhaps it was that he’d just ignored it, too caught up in the excitement of his new life to care about what kind of person she was. He knew he’d become crueler as well though, so many of his morals and inhibitions slipping away along with his ability to die. 

His love for the stars had slipped away as well, where once he had looked to them as a symbol of freedom and the future, now they just seemed to mock him for his existence under Carmilla’s thumb. He was like a pet dog, allowed to bark and snarl at people through the fence, but never let out into the rest of the world except on a leash. He’d hated it, had longed to escape her, but was kept from leaving by a mixture of love and fear. 

The existence of the other Mechanisms had further tied him down, he hadn’t been able to prevent Carmilla from creating them despite his best attempts, and if he ran away the little bit of protection he could offer would no longer exist. Having them around had given him the courage to stand up to her more though, he hadn’t been the only one who would suffer because of her anymore, so he’d made himself a shield to protect them. Not that he’d ever let them know it; he had to kill a lot of people to earn his reputation and as a degenerate monster, he didn’t need people knowing he could care, they might stop thinking he wasn’t as bad as he seemed. 

It was because of the others he’d first started shoving Carmilla out the airlock, sending her floating through the stars he’d once loved. She’d always found her way back of course, and he’d always suffered for it, but there had been a vicious sense of satisfaction in doing it still. The last time she'd gone out he hadn't been the one to push her, no matter what everyone else thought; perhaps that was why there had been no sense of satisfaction from it, just a strong sense of nervousness once they'd realized she wasn't on the ship.

They’d sped away quickly from that part of space afterward, fearing her wrath, but she’d never returned. He’d never figured out whether that was because she’d managed to die for good or if she’d just finally decided they were more trouble than they were worth, but the grief he’d felt had surprised him. Life had moved on though, Marius and Raphella had joined them, and there had been plenty more adventures and violence that had come their way. 

Jonny had never regained his love for the stars; however, there were times he stared up at them like he had as a child and thought, not of freedom, but of the way so many of them seemed to stay the same no matter how much time passed. And he wondered, did they hate their eternity as much as him?


End file.
